A Sure Sign of the Apocalypse

Tomorrow is the day we have all been waiting for. That's right, it's the end of the world, 06.06.06. There are signs of the apocalypse everywhere, from the release of that new Omen movie, to bird flu, and possibly the most disturbing of all signs, a new video proving the superhuman strength of televangelist Pat Robertson. Apparently, old boy has been hitting the organic power shakes and can now leg press 1000 lbs. An article in the New York Times even talks about a press release stating he can leg press 2000 lbs, breaking the world record. All this from an organic protein shake that Mr. Robertson has developed himself. And of course sold to GNC. But alas, you can no longer buy your Christian-approved nutritional supplements due to a mysterious discontinuation of the shakes by the chain of stores. Now, you can go to the Christian Broadcasting Network (scroll down to the Resources section) website for the recipie of shakes, protein pancakes, and antioxidants. Or just join Pat's weight loss challenge. Shed those extra pounds while accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior!