Anal Sex According to the Word of God

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Rolling the Dice

Really, this is a post for Bob. I'm reading this book all about quantum computers, learning all about bits of information and how they are processed, the difference between free energy and entropy, and the physics of the Big Bang. It's interesting, but it also has me wondering "why am I reading this book?" Until I got to page 50, when the author writes, "Every roll of the quantum dice injects a few more bits of detail into the world." The author, Seth Lloyd, is talking about chaos theory and the butterfly effect on the creation of pretty much everything. But what does it make me think of? An old joke I had with Bob about almost shitting your pants when rolling the mexican dice. I'd like to think of the quantum dice as an amplification of the mexican dice (a crazy cousin if you will), but with a better chance of getting something a little less noxious.

All Hell Breaks Loose

Some of you may not know this, but it has been snowing in Texas. We've actually had some pretty bad weather. Nalyd even called me to see how I was coping with "Ice Storm 2007." He's such a thoughtful guy. As you can see in the picture, there isn't much snow, but in Texas, this is enough to get 25 car pileups on the freeway and close schools and businesses. It's so excellent to see people freaking out like this!! It makes me hope for more snow! At least enough to do a proper snow angel.

Starchild

I spent New Year's Eve Day reuniting with my cd collection from 5 years ago, mainly my Parliament cd. So when looking for goodies about the whole Parliament-Funkadelic story, I found these photos at itineratesurfer.com, which has some pretty interesting stuff. I had no idea there was a Parliament comic book, but let me just say that some of these photos freak my shit out.

Bo Gumbos

About two years ago, I went to this live show with T and Esan in Shibuya. I didn't know anything about it except it was a tribute show and our friend Nobu, who sings for this band called The Privates, would be performing. Nobu is super fun, and has a great idea about how cicadas are really aliens, so I thought it might be fun. I had no idea, I was going to a tribute concert for Donto, the singer for a band called the Bo Gumbos, who in my opinion revolutionized Japanese rock music. I had never heard any of these songs before, and I was dancing, and sometimes even crying along with them. I think I fell in love with these songs not just because the music was fun and danceable, but because they were simple and I could understand them. I was listening to them again last night, because it's about time for another Soul of Donto concert, and I heard this lyric that I had always liked, "Hoshii mono wa itsudemo, tooii kumo no ue," or "the things you want are always on top of a far off cloud." I love that. And it's also great juxtaposed with the song begging a girl not to turn around because her face ruins her perfect ass.

No!! They'll ruin all our fun!!

I used to think it would be a great job to correct all the bad English in Japan. I would have this business card that I could just hand out anytime I saw a mistake, and since there were so many, I would be rolling in the yens. I guess I could still do that if I wanted to work for the Beijing government.

http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/world/16390021.htm

Oink

It's the year of the pig in China; the year of the inoshishi, or wild boar in Japan. Last year, on a trip to Izu and Shizuoka, me and the Mimie-channers all went to a place called Inoshishi Mura, or Wild Boar Village. It was great! We got to gamble on wild boar races, pet goats, and eat hotpot made with wild boar meat. Yummy! They even gave me a free wooden wild boar doll so I could make my own races at home. But now that my luck is at steak, I'm wondering if that feast was a wise move. I think I'll carry my good luck charm around with me just in case.

Happy New Year

It's the end of 2006, and the end of my Big Bad Luck year according to Japanese astrology. Thank gawd. It's been a pretty major year as far as change goes, so I think for 2007 (Year of the Boar) I'll try to keep it as boring as possible.

I hope you all had wonderful holidays and stay happy and healthy in the new year.

Oh, and check out the badass Christmas bag that was getting regifted on to my grandmother. I love me some multicultural Santas. Especially ones that come from the dollar store pull their trees behind them everywhere they go.

Leslie and the Cocknocker

I got these totally BADASS magnets from Letma and DQ for Christmas. So far they are my favorite gift, and it'll take a lot to knock it out of first place. For all that don't know, this fella is Leslie, the most rocking homeless transvestite in the world. He used to push this gigantic cart around and hover at about 6th and Congress in Austin. He ran for mayor once, and I totally voted for him. Not just for his political views, mind you, but for the fact that when I worked as a hostess at the Magnolia cafe, he would often ask for free coffee, telling me, "I like my coffee like I like my men...strong and black."

Oh, and very important, I received this link from someone who gets Time magazine sent to themselves as Mr. Cocknocker. This is my new favorite Christmas song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dmVU08zVpA

Funniest thing I've heard all week

So I was at work, picking on the guy who listens to Yes again. I was asking him if he ever imagines Jon Anderson as some sort of king of the elfkin people or just midgets in general. He said sure, and then I asked if he ever listened to Genesis or Jethro Tull. In my mind, those three bands are linked together (along with a few others) as one-way tickets to dressing up kabuki-style and heading off to Scarborough Faire in Waxahachie, Texas. He said no, he didn't listen to those bands, but by the way, did I know that a member of Jethro Tull had had a sex change operation?? What? Surely the members of a band who wore tights and tiptoed across stadium arenas in the 70's all still have their manliness in tact!! Not so. Seems the keyboardist is now living as a middle-aged woman named Dee. It's kinda like if my grandmother had another secret life as a championship kickboxer.

I Love Lemurs

I saw this station wagon the other day with this I love lemurs bumper sticker on it. I thought to myself, this person is either the funniest person I've met, or psycho with the Animal Planet channel. When I went to go find a picture of it to put up here, I found this whole page devoted to I love lemur items, including this lovely lemur thong. Kinda makes me think this lemur thing is more for the Animal Planet types than the humorous types. This is called the "special lady" thong. Yes. It's very special. Is there some lemur slang that I don't know about?

The Christmas Cannon

This place was still blaring the Christmas tunes tonight, while I was doing a few drivebys to snap some photos. There are actually more lights that I remembered. I totally forgot the cone-shaped spiral trees wedged in between the candy canes and snowman. But it all pales in comparison to Santa's cannon, bringing explosives into the spirit of Christmas.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

So this is my big Christmas back in America. The fact that I have a retail job right now, and every day is an upscale pandemonium adds to the bleary-eyed dizziness of it all. A friend emailed me this week about Christmas in Australia. I guess Santa carries a "Christmas Sack" there and my friend was comparing it to an egg sac or a ball sac. Nice, I like thinking about Santa's nuts.
And speaking of worldly or not-so-worldly Christmas traditions, there is the overdecoration of your home which I think Texans excel at. We have these neighborhoods that people tour to see the lights and wait hours and hours to see gaudy wooden cutouts of the manger scene with flashing Santa lights right next to them. I have a distinct memory of my mom having to go to the bathroom while we were waiting in our car one year, and pooping in the woods. Awesome. Now my parents live in a completely different town, but we haven't escaped the tacky Christmas lights. In fact, one of our neighbors has the best house I've seen in years. It starts with four (count 'em FOUR) life-sized Santa dolls in the windows, dancing twinkly lights on the front fence, twinkly multicolored balls hanging from the trees, a light-up snowman by the front door, two light-up candy canes by the snowman, and my favorite, a light-up scene of Santa shooting the words "Merry Christmas" out of a cannon on the side fence. Cause you know, it's all about firearms and fourth amendment rights at Christmastime. And if all that doesn't put you over the top, I shit you not, The guy was blasting Christmas carols from some speakers he set up in his front yard last night. My folks and I walked by in time to hear "We wish you a Merry Christmas" and "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year." I would seriously kill this man if I was his neighbor.

I'll take pictures and put them up soon.