Air Mail

Today I threw a paper airplane at a girl in class that had the message "You Suck" written on it. Obviously, lack of sleep is somehow correlated to my maturity levels.

She's Crafty

Check this shit out! I made a pillow with my Sewing-Pretty-With-Hello-Kitty sewing machine. It's the first thing I've made that didn't look like a total disaster since about 8th grade sewing class. Note the tassels on the corners I beaded myself. And note the nekkid lady I embroidered on there too. That's right, I'm a total badass.

Floored

So we now have radio free anthro at work, some satellite radio bullshit we are required to listen to. And honestly, there were a few shining moments today in between all the KT Tunstall crap. But I was completely floored while I was beaming and singing along to "This Must Be The Place" when a stupid 18-year-old I work with said to me "Yeah, you would like this song." Not only did she stop me from beaming, but she also reminded me that I currently work in a mall with a bunch of punkasses who have summer jobs. And bad taste in music.

My First Free Moment In Like 3 Weeks

Dood. I totally overextended myself. Between trying to kick ass at massage school, a botched attempt to get promoted at my shitty retail job (bastards!), and trying to maximize my time with Mike D, I have worn myself out. Truth is I've had a really good time doing it, but not I seem to spend all my free time napping. Ten free minutes at school? I'm curled in the fetal position on the carpet. Red light taking too long in traffic? I'm dozing off and waking up to honking horns. But with less than three weeks of classes left, I think I can manage it. Big things are on the horizon...

More Quotes from Massage School

These are a few select quotes from my new favorite classmate.

While looking at an up-close picture of a hemmorhoid (my idea of course), one girl asks what exactly we were looking at:

"Ellyse, that's your brown eye."

While discussing a region of the outer ear called the pinna, which people from Ft. Worth, Texas pronounce pee-nah:

"I'm too old to find out I've got a pee-nah. Just what exactly have I been supposed to be doing with it?"

And, while discussing a trip to the bathroom outside while chopping firewood:

"Oh the chiggers love Miss Kitty."

Come and Knock On Our Door

It's like one of those signs that you are in fact a small part of an amazingly big picture......that the world is planned out with enough free will to make you feel in control but also with a dash of destiny, because things are just supposed to work out THIS EXACT WAY. Because your new favorite teacher, the one who lets you gross everyone out in class with up-close photos of hemmorhoids from her pathology book, says she's going to bring in pictures of her aunt when you are both talking about your love of red velvet cake. You assume this aunt is some famous baker or pastry chef. But no, she is the actress who played the woman who bakes the armadillo red velvet cake in the movie "Steel Magnolias." And when you probe further, she is also the actress who played Lana on "Three's Company," your personal hero post-divorce. Sultry, breathy, dressed up with a wardrobe that made Stevie Nicks jealous, Lana was the original sexy divorcee. And while I never really understood her schtick when I was a kid, I sure as hell get it now.